The Spit And Speculum Now

For the cortisol stress test, a patient might fill four tubes in an hour. For DNA collection, a single milliliter is enough. But the act remains undignified. It is the only medical specimen we produce in a state of deliberate, slack-jawed passivity. Dentists have tried to soften the blow with suction devices and “saliva ejectors” (the infamous "spit-sucker" that sounds like a dying whale), but the layperson’s memory of the spit is always tied to the hygienist saying, “Rinse and spit.”

: Perhaps the house cocktail is served in a beaker or graduated cylinder. The Clientele the spit and speculum